Taking a Moment to Appreciate

While going thru the nonsense business of "finding myself", I realize that I all too easily get wrapped up in the challenges Im facing, rather than on challenges Ive overcome! The last few years I have been having a real hard time figuring out (and sticking with) what is important to me, what I value, what and who I want in my life, what I envision for my future, and what I should be doing to be a productive and contributive member of society and the WORLD, really! Its all very overwhelming and I find myself being indecisive, changing my mind on things I could have SWORN I had already had set in stone....

And thru all the temper tantrums, crying fits, emotional breakdowns and millions of questions asked of myself and others, I will ALWAYS have a few select friends, close family members and JOHN just patiently and supportively waiting for me to get it all figured out. Im sure that there are a few people (mom...dad...) who care deeply for me, wishing that they could figure it out FOR me, give me life's answers and words of wisdom. However, they know and I know that only I can discover these on my own.

I am truly blessed to have this solid man in my life who, thru it all, tries to be as supportive as he can, and give me as much freedom as I need to get these things figured out. All of it is a test to our relationship, to our unconditional love for eachother. We try to remember, as we bulldoze the great roadblocks that are placed in the path of our relationship, that in the end there is always the true gift in knowing that we can overcome anything and our love and devotion to eachother will last forever (we hope. heehee.) 

I know this because (among many other things) at the end of each school week I am incredibly anxious to return home. After work on the weekends I am STILL excited to return home. At night Im content and comforted to fall asleep next to him, and to wake up feeling the same way. Even DURING a big blow-out argument, no matter HOW pissed off or hurt we are, we always just know, in the back of our minds, that we will be okay. We always are! We will hug, kiss, make our appologies, and talk in real terms how to adjust things to make it so that we dont upset eachother again. Then all will be right with the world (at least OUR world.) Heehee. We both know that it's good to "fight", to work out the bugs, "nip them in the bud", so on...as soon as problems arise so the finished product (marraige) is suitable for us both.

Our relationship has grown so much since we began our journy close to four years ago! So many compromises have been made, tweekings and adjustments that dont just happen overnight - that take some work and serious, conscious effort. In the end, we still dont have the perfect relationship, but we have a custom-built love, created in a way to satisfy our own individual needs and desires. Aw yes, the sheer cheesiness of it all....